Who am i writing this for?
I always feel like im not sure who to write this for, no ones going to read it and who wants to know about my boring life? I never know what to talk about or how to address it. Should it be like a dear diary thing or should i be a third party deal... anyway.
i have tried to write a blog about a lot of things and i always end up deleting it. Im not good at this. I dont know how other moms share everything on blogs, i read blogs about other families and the struggles they have and the happy times and just other randomness in the lives. What do i share? I have 6 week old twins, LG & MQ that i cant take out with me, cant show off other than in photo's. A 4 year old LJ that is too smart for his own good and an 8 year old AA that im pretty sure hates being here, between the stress of newborn twins and LJ drawing on the walls because i havent been able to give him the attention he deserves and needs from me and AA's attitude i feel like i am failing as a mom. How do i juggle all of this. I feel like i am letting my hubby down when he comes home to a disaster of a house. I barely have time to eat let alone do laundry or dishes or clean up the front room or our bedroom. How do mom's do it? How do i do it? I wish i had my mom to here to ask questions or to help. This is just stupid.
its always stupid.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Goodbye Stress...
And dont let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!
The past week was secretly very stressful... today was my drs appt to find out about a lump i found in my breast a little over a week ago. And i am pleased to find out that while i am exhausted from my nerve wrecked sleep, the lump is a fibroadenoma ( a knot of fibrous and mammary tissue that feels like a solid lump.) And nothing worse... whew. As soon as the dr said "oh thats a....nothing to worry about." i felt like i could breathe again despite the ultrasound equiptment she had pressed to my chest. Thank God that this little adventure is over!
The past week was secretly very stressful... today was my drs appt to find out about a lump i found in my breast a little over a week ago. And i am pleased to find out that while i am exhausted from my nerve wrecked sleep, the lump is a fibroadenoma ( a knot of fibrous and mammary tissue that feels like a solid lump.) And nothing worse... whew. As soon as the dr said "oh thats a....nothing to worry about." i felt like i could breathe again despite the ultrasound equiptment she had pressed to my chest. Thank God that this little adventure is over!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Lucius James
In March of 2012 the Flores family will be headed to Disneyland. It is offically Lucius's 2nd trip but his first time old enough to enjoy it. Our first day in the park will be his 4th birthday! And he is beyond excited. Since we told them about it, he is constantly asking "is today the day" and "is it my birthday yet?"
Im wondering who is more excited Lucius or myself. I had the same feeling when we were taking Aidan for his 4th birthday... It turned out that i left the park that last day not sure who had a better trip. I am excited for this trip, and Lucius is fueling that fire. The other day while i was taking down all the christmas decorations and tree he came running up in a panic " why are you taking the tree down? wont santa be mad? wait are you doing this for my birthday?!" everytime i tell him we need to wait until march he walks away and says "stupid march". I love it because in that same breath if i mention that we are still going and its just a little bit longer, he claps and yells "oh thank you mama for taking me to disneyland." I want them to remember it like i remember my first trip. It was so magical. The rides were amazing and everything was so happy, its funny because now the only thing that could bring that much joy is getting to relive it through Lucius and Aidan's eyes... Its so magical they way lucius lights up over something as simple as paper chains for christmas or the lights. I am so excited to see his recation to the happiest place on earth. I wish more of my life could be that simple.
That sweet little boy who is so easily pleased is also a monster, a comedian and way too smart for his own good. He is always has exaggerated facial expressions. We were having a snack today and he decided he was going to throw his pudding cup, after getting in trouble and we had "the pudding is not for throwing" talk he tilted his down, eyes up, raised one eyebrow "are you sorry to me?". His newest thing is when hes in trouble, which is frequently is he gets really close and pulls a big cheesy grin. its all worth it when he want to cuddle and be sweet.
Im wondering who is more excited Lucius or myself. I had the same feeling when we were taking Aidan for his 4th birthday... It turned out that i left the park that last day not sure who had a better trip. I am excited for this trip, and Lucius is fueling that fire. The other day while i was taking down all the christmas decorations and tree he came running up in a panic " why are you taking the tree down? wont santa be mad? wait are you doing this for my birthday?!" everytime i tell him we need to wait until march he walks away and says "stupid march". I love it because in that same breath if i mention that we are still going and its just a little bit longer, he claps and yells "oh thank you mama for taking me to disneyland." I want them to remember it like i remember my first trip. It was so magical. The rides were amazing and everything was so happy, its funny because now the only thing that could bring that much joy is getting to relive it through Lucius and Aidan's eyes... Its so magical they way lucius lights up over something as simple as paper chains for christmas or the lights. I am so excited to see his recation to the happiest place on earth. I wish more of my life could be that simple.
That sweet little boy who is so easily pleased is also a monster, a comedian and way too smart for his own good. He is always has exaggerated facial expressions. We were having a snack today and he decided he was going to throw his pudding cup, after getting in trouble and we had "the pudding is not for throwing" talk he tilted his down, eyes up, raised one eyebrow "are you sorry to me?". His newest thing is when hes in trouble, which is frequently is he gets really close and pulls a big cheesy grin. its all worth it when he want to cuddle and be sweet.
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